READING THE BIBLE IN 1 YEAR: Deuteronomy 7

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Deuteronomy 6

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Deuteronomy 5

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Deuteronomy 4

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Deuteronomy Chapter 2

READING THE BIBLE IN 1 YEAR: Deuteronomy 1

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers 36

READING THE BIBLE IN 1 YEAR: Numbers 35

READING THE BIBLE IN 1 YEAR: Numbers 34

READING THE BIBLE IN 1 YEAR: Numbers 33

READING THE BIBLE IN 1 YEAR: Numbers 32

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers 30

READING THE BIBLE IN 1 YEAR: Numbers 29

READING THE BIBLE IN 1 YEAR: Numbers 28

READING THE BIBLE IN 1 YEAR: Numbers 27

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers 26

Reading the Bible this year: Numbers 25

Reading the Bible in 1 Year - learning about the Children of Israel's history

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers Chapter 22

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers Chapter 21

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers Chapter 20 - Moses

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers Chapter 19

https://rumble.com/embed/v48d79k/?pub=275tqq

Reading the Bible in 1 Year - Join us on our Journey

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers 17

READING THE BIBLE IN 1 YEAR: Numbers Chapter 16

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers 15

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers 14 - See Post Below

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers 12

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers 11

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers Chapter 10

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers 9 - The Passover

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers 8

Reading the Bible in 1 Year - Numbers Chapter 7

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers 6

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Numbers Chapter 4

People Need to Come Together - Not Fight

Reading the Bible in 1 Year - Numbers Chapter 2

Join Us as we Read Through the Bible this Year

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Leviticus 27

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Leviticus Chapter 26

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Leviticus Chapter 25

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Leviticus 24 with a NT Devotional

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Leviticus Chapter 23

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Leviticus Chapter 22

READING THE BIBLE IN 1 YEAR: Leviticus 21

READING THE BIBLE IN 1 YEAR - Leviticus 20

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Leviticus 18 and 19

READING THE BIBLE IN 1 YEAR: Leviticus Chapters 16 and 17

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Leviticus Chapter 15

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Leviticus Chapter 14

Merry Christmas - We're Reading Leviticus 13

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Leviticus 11 and 12

READING THE BIBLE IN 1 YEAR: Leviticus Chps 9 &10

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: Leviticus Chapters 7 & 8

READING THE BIBLE IN 1 YEAR: Leviticus Chapters 5 and 6

Reading the Bible in 1 Year: #Exodus Chapters 2, 3, and 4

Reading the Bible in 1 Year Leviticus Chapter 1

The Nation of Israel - Reading the Bible in 1 Year

Monday, February 8, 2010

Fun for Monday - LAUGH OUT LOUD

Disorder in the American Courts -

These are from a book called 'Disorder in the American Courts' and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect
your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your
memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of
something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a
person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it
until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_________________________ ___________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how
old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was
taken?
WITNESS: Are you kidding me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby)
was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
W ITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different
attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going
with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning
pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your
attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have
you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much
of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What
school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you
examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine
sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the
autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the
patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my
desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have
still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have
been alive and practicing law.

3 comments:

Bish Denham said...

Hysterical! Thanks for the laugh, I needed it.

Anonymous said...

*Snort!*

Brenda said...

I have been to court many a times for my job and people really do say the dumbest things at times...

These were a hoot...thanks for sharing...I needed a good laugh today...